10 hours ago — 204016 notes, via / source


i cant believe this. i cant fucking believe this. i meant to send this to my boyfriend but instead i sent it to my boss right after i told her i was quitting all i wanted to do was make an inappropriate cookie joke but no i got mixed up texting two people at once and literally sent a picture of a chocolate chip cookie captioned “ooh she thique” to the fifty year old suburban mother of two of whom i have nothing but a strictly professional relationship with. after knowing me for almost a year and a half as a hard working and respectable employee this is the last thing i will ever say to her i can never go back to that shop again all because of this god damn cookie blunder What have i Done

1 day ago — 47902 notes, via / source | NOOOOOOOOOO,

1 day ago — 4977 notes, via / source | the office,


ok who’s gonna write the fic


When you finally got those receipts you’ve been waiting on


1 day ago — 2920 notes, via / source


When straight guys eat a banana 

1 day ago — 60141 notes, via / source


trying to shit quietly at someone else’s house


and then the shit hits the water


1 day ago — 5121 notes, via / source

  • When I'm late: these ppl gotta chill I'm exactly where I got to be at this moment. God put me here for a reason, I ain't suppose to rush the universe.
  • When somebody else late: u stay irresponsible. Trash the fuck why u always late? How u go to work?? Lazy filth I've. Been waiting outside for 5 mins.... WHERE THE HELL U AT???!!
2 days ago — 48573 notes, via / source

According to IMDb 5.09 is called "Carl’s First Sentencing" and not “Be Somebody’s Bitch”.